Dating Someone Similar to Your Ex

Sometimes when you are dating someone, you are reminded of your ex. You find similarities with the person you are dating and cannot stop thinking about your past relationship. You might be afraid and might feel the need to be unattached from the person you are dating. This is a mechanism to protect yourself from getting hurt. However, keep in mind that the person that you are dating is like your ex, but you are not dating your ex.

This is a common occurrence when you are dating. You might like someone based on their resemblance to your ex’s physical appearance, their manners, intellectual conversations, and other qualities that you liked from your ex. Furthermore, these similarities can make you feel motivated to begin a conversation with the new person that you are dating. Due to the similarities, you might feel vulnerable and rushed to trust the person that you are now dating. Also, these similarities can make you feel comfortable with the relationship although you do not know the person that you are dating that well.

Therefore, it is necessary to remind yourself that you are not dating your ex. Remind yourself that you are dating someone new who is like your ex. Furthermore, the attraction of liking someone who is like your ex might become uncomfortable at times; But it can be managed to have a romantic relationship. One must remember that every relationship has challenges and that both partners need to agree to solve them. One must have an optimistic attitude and let go of expectations based on past experiences.

When you find similarities in someone who reminds you of your ex, it is often an unconscious emotional aspect that influences you to select your new person to date. This can also occur in a social aspect because you might not have forgotten your ex to the full extent of your subconscious. You might have unresolved issues from your past relationship experiences that can reveal to you hidden emotions and unrequited feelings toward your ex. It is important to consult with a therapist to solve those unresolved issues with patience and self-awareness. Pay attention to your reactions and what you feel when you discuss with your therapist about your past experiences with your ex. 

Take the first step to work on those unresolved issues. Additionally, dating someone that is like your ex is not bad especially if the person makes you feel optimistic, attractive, comfortable, and feel genuine. Yet be cautious when you are dating and be open to new experiences without being reminded about your past experiences with your ex. Do not make comparisons with the new person that you are dating. Furthermore, do not make expectations thinking that the new person that you are dating is exactly what your ex would do. 

Think about what attracted you to this new person. Often being attracted to someone like your ex might make you miss your ex. Loneliness and missing someone from your past can make you feel empty. Sometimes seeing someone like your ex can make you smile and enjoy their companionship. However, you might end up calling them the wrong name because of the resemblance of your ex. 

It is recommended to separate your feelings regarding your ex. Start by getting to know the new person that you are dating. Think beyond their appearances, age, and other similarities; Get to know them by who they are intellectually and their sentiments. If the person that you are dating only brings out pessimistic thoughts about your ex; Reconsider the relationship. Feeling angry, aggressive, and feeling that it is your fault is another deduction to reconsider the relationship. 

Dating someone because of the similitude can also cause unfulfilled desires to be unveiled to you. These desires can make you have unrealistic expectations. Therefore, be patient with your emotions and permit yourself to move on from your past romantic relationships. Acknowledge and accept the similarities while going beyond that to get to know them better. Here are resources about dating someone like your ex.

 

 

How to Deal With Reminders of Your Ex:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201806/how-deal-reminders-your-ex

Is There a Reason You Keep Dating People Similar to Your Ex:

https://themilsource.com/2022/10/26/is-there-a-reason-you-keep-dating-people-similar-to-your-ex/

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