Self-Doubts, Contemplation, and Marriage (Tips Before Marriage)

Before getting married it is recommended to manage your self-doubts, worries, and anything that make you feel uncomfortable. It is necessary to practice Yoga, Tai Chi, or other mind and body exercise to reduce your stress or anxieties. Practice self-worth and self-acceptance. You might feel inadequate, doubtful, and might be afraid of getting married. Ask yourself the following questions. 

What are the reasons for me getting married? What do I feel about getting married? Do I want to have children with my committed partner? How does my partner demonstrate how much time, safety, love, and commitment? How do I make my partner feel safe and loved? 

Also, ask yourself this question. Why am I afraid of getting married? If it is rejection due to feeling inadequate, discouraged, confused, or other negative emotions; Realize you are not alone and seeking professional guidance can help you manage the emotions. Additionally, feeling self-rejection can make you fear rejection towards your partner. As well as making you decline invitations, opportunities, and the possibilities to experience what marriage is all about. 

It is best not to have expectations before getting married and during the beginning stages of marriage. Avoid having expectations but give yourself the opportunity to get to know your committed partner more. Do not hide your feelings. Always have an open and honest communication with your partner. Do not push or set aside your partner because of past experiences of self-doubts, self-rejection, and fears. 

If your parents had a divorce and feel discouragement because of the childhood experiences; Realize that you were not responsible for your parents’ divorce. Experiencing separation from your parents’ divorce can make you more afraid of commitment, marriage, and true love. You might have expectations, ideas, or unrealistic thoughts about marriage. Yet, keep in mind that there are imperfections, difficulties, mistakes, and miscommunication during certain stages of marriage. Furthermore, you might have similar or different values, interests, and daily routines. 

You might feel dissatisfaction, frustration, or have a tough time accepting the challenges of being newly married. Often being afraid and not accepting your partner's compliments can make you feel a lack of closeness towards them. Self-doubts, worrying, and feeling inadequate can constantly prevent you from loving your partner to the fullest. Although getting married might be a big step, it is essential to understand your intentions of getting married. Ask yourself questions, meditate, and contemplate your reasoning for getting married. 

To practice contemplation, you can ask yourself one question at a time. Lay down, sit down, or lie down on one side while asking yourself one question. Do not respond quickly to answer your question. You can do contemplation in silence and move your sitting position or move your body every three minutes. Contemplation meditation can also be done by asking yourself a question and writing it down in a journal. 

Another way is to play drums, chimes, or soft soothing sound as you ask yourself a question. Read a poem or read something about marriage. Read one paragraph from a marriage book or poem and think about what you read. You might want to dance or express yourself through movement meditation as you contemplate. Lastly, visualize yourself getting married and set aside your fears. 

Use your senses and observe your body language. Observe your hands, legs, and facial gestures as you mentally visualize your marriage. If you do sense fear, anxiety, or discomfort as you visualize yourself married; Pause to reflect on those feelings as you write it down. Contemplate one word at a time and use positive statements to help you focus. Keep in mind that not all your questions might be answered but it can give you awareness of your thoughts. 

You can practice contemplation by yourself. However, you can practice contemplation with your partner. Contemplation can help both of you to communicate better and to communicate with openness. Using journals or writing about what thoughts come to mind can be used for your conversation with your partner. Finally, do not let self-doubts damage your relationship.

 

Uncovering and revealing how you feel exactly can help you communicate your confusion, frustration, or doubts. Before getting married, keep in mind that your doubts, fears, and discouragement can prevent you from giving yourself an opportunity to be in a committed relationship. Take your time to practice contemplation. Make a list or express yourself through poetry to release your worries. You can practice contemplation for a brief time before going to sleep or in the morning. 

Do not wait until the last minute to self-reflect, contemplate, and to reduce your self-doubts. Frustration, confusion, and seeking self-validation can be overwhelming, especially when not communicated to your partner. Feeling unsupported, unappreciated, and unapologetically can put a strain in the relationship before getting married. Always seek professional help if you have self-doubts, fears, imposter syndrome, depression, or challenges in a relationship. Here are resources for practicing contemplation to reduce self-doubts before getting married. 

 

How to Practice Contemplative Meditation for Reflection:

How To Practice Contemplative Meditation For Reflection

What is Contemplative Meditation? A Full Explanation Mind is the Master:

What is Contemplative Meditation? A Full Explanation | Mind is the Master

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