How to Have a Secure Attachment Style?

At the beginning of a relationship, you might ask yourself these questions. How to have a healthy relationship? What can I do to communicate better? How to have a secure attachment style in my relationship? You might be wondering if it is possible to have a secure attachment style. 

A secure attachment style begins with your childhood experiences. As a child grows up, they observe how their parents behave and their actions. When both parents are present, they establish a set of rules, manners, and discipline, and are a guideline for how to love someone in the future. However, when one parent is only present during the childhood years, it makes it a challenge to visualize love between a couple. Therefore, a child needs to see and carefully observe their relatives who are happily married. 

A healthy relationship goes through many phases. Love is what guides and unites a couple. Yet, there needs to be constant communication between the two. This type of communication requires being patient and not limiting your self-expression of thoughts. Do not let your partner stop you from being open with your emotions, feelings, and your true self. 

Sometimes, stopping yourself from saying how you feel can make you feel worse about yourself and your relationship. Also, do not say things out of anger, low self-esteem, and other negative reasons. Be kind to yourself and your partner. Develop your self-esteem, self-worth, self-respect, and patience with yourself. Once you are comfortable with yourself, you will be comfortable with your partner. 

Do not continually argue with your partner. If something bothers you, express it calmly to your partner. Let him or her know with respect and understand their perspective. Do not allow yourself to feel guilt, shame, or fear to stop you from communicating with your partner. Set boundaries between you and your partner. 

Trust, respect, and communicate freely without being remorseful. Consider your partner's feelings, emotions, and how they behave towards you. A secure attachment style is not having distance between the two. Instead, you create some emotional and mental space while you are together as a couple. A relationship should not make you feel bad about yourself. 

There will be difficult times between you and your partner, but the more secure the relationship is, the stronger you will be stronger. Above all, a secure relationship requires a lot of maintenance, self-evaluation, and bonding. Both partners need to give up things while having an appreciation for each other. Create a safe relationship without fears, humiliation, and without devaluing each other. A secure attachment style is a healthy relationship with mutual respect, compromise, and conflicts being managed well.

Seek a relationship counselor to help you and your partner to solve misunderstandings, traumatic events, and negative childhood experiences. Continue self-growth and self-improvement of yourself. Do not be afraid to show affection to your partner. A secure attachment style in a relationship is allowing more contentment and less pain. Here are websites about having a secure attachment style in your relationship. 

 

5 Tips to Have a More Secure Attachment Style-Mind Body Green:

5 Tips To Have A More Secure Attachment Style | mindbodygreen

Secure Attachment Style From Childhood to Adult Relationships:

Secure Attachment – from Childhood to Adult Relationships (simplypsychology.org)

How to Develop a Secure Attachment Style in Your Relationship:

How to Develop Secure Attachment Style in Your Relationship (marriage.com)

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