Past Experiences, Romantic Relationships, and Your Thoughts
Past experiences from relationships that ended abruptly can make you refuse yourself from finding a loving relationship. Often these relationships leave you with a pessimistic perspective about yourself and leave you with doubts of finding a relationship you want to have. As well as feeling incomplete and feeling disconnected. Other times you might find hope with the next potential relationship and still worry. You might think about your past experiences and might think it will repeat again with the new relationship.
Letting go of past relationships can be challenging especially if your new romantic partner reminds you of your ex. Furthermore, you might see similarities in their appearance, their clothing style, their manners, and other insignificant things that remind you of your ex. Other times they might take you to restaurants or places where you went with your ex. Regardless of those reminders, it is best to avoid thinking about your ex and those past experiences. Believe you can have a new relationship and focus on what you can learn from your new relationship.
Sometimes you might think about your past errors within the relationship. You might believe it was all your fault and feel uncertainty with your new relationship. It is discouraging, frustrating, and can make you push away your new relationship. However, it is recommended to reflect on your past experiences and slowly let them go. Begin by doing breathing techniques and writing down what scares you from having a relationship.
Often having fears and doubts can stop you from having a romantic relationship. Other times being afraid of getting too close to your partner and past experiences of rejection might make you want to end a new relationship. Acknowledge your feelings and re-evaluate them. Depending on your past experiences, it is helpful to seek professional counseling and to do self-care. Moreover, being patient with yourself, surrounding yourself with optimistic friendships, and practicing self-kindness can help you move forward in your new relationship.
There might be times that you might feel disgust about everything when you are dating someone new. Yet, having this feeling can stop you from having a relationship and might miss the opportunity to meet someone you want to love. However, it is recommended that you do self-reflection and focus on getting to know the new person that you are dating. Do not forget to have a gratitude journal or have a night activity to help you to look at your new relationship with a hopeful perspective. As well as knowing what a healthy relationship is and what needs your attention to ask your professional therapist.
Be gentle and kind with your thoughts. Do not feel embarrassed about speaking to a professional therapist. It might take a year or more to begin feeling better from speaking about your past experiences. Nonetheless, every relationship is difficult to overcome once it has ended. Yet, allow yourself some time to let go of the pain, hurtful words, and accept your past experiences as part of your past and not part of the present.
Take each day at a time. Letting go of past experiences is challenging. Practice self-compassion, self-empathy, self-awareness as you manage your emotions. Forgive yourself and forgive the person that hurt you from your past experiences. Forgiveness is also tough to do but you will be able to feel comfortable in starting a new relationship.
The more you understand your emotions; you will be able to recover and speak about those past experiences with a professional therapist. Keep in mind that you might have days of flashbacks of your past experiences and might remain in silence. Yet, find activities that can help you accept and let go of those past experiences. Avoid letting those past experiences make you feel bad about yourself. Here are resources about letting go of past relationships and past experiences.
How to Not Let Past Relationships Affect New Ones:
https://www.healthyhumansproject.com/how-to-not-let-past-relationships-affect-new-ones/
How to Let Go of Your Past:
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