Stonewalling and Relationships

Stonewalling is quite common in relationships. However, it might leave a negative effect more on one partner than the other partner. Some people consider stonewalling as a good intention and not to hurt the person in the relationship. While other people see stonewalling as a damaging impact on their relationships. Yet, what is exactly stonewalling? 

Stonewalling is a method to avoid arguing. It uses the silent treatment. Additionally, the person avoids answering their partner's questions and may roll their eyes. The signal of rolling their eyes means they do not want to talk about it and feel annoyed. Last a person who does the stonewalling will avoid contact with their partner for longer intervals.

Although it is good to give a person some space, it is harmful when the partner loses contact with their significant other. The Silent treatment might be good for a brief time, but it is hurtful when it is done for a longer time. Stonewalling is considered emotional abuse because it makes their partner feel less than them. The person who puts an invisible wall between the relationship might become too defensive or aggressive. Usually, the person who does this learned this from their childhood either in a form of abandonment or their parents taught them the silent treatment. 

Stonewalling is also verbal abuse when the person blames their partner while changing the subject during the argument. Too much defensive attitude harms their partner emotionally and verbally. He or she might be too explosive with their words and will not allow their partner to speak. Depending on how the stonewalling is done, it should be managed carefully and professionally. Therefore, with proper counseling, anger management, or individual therapy a person may stop stonewalling. 

Yet, if stonewalling is left untreated, the relationship might not last a lifetime. Both partners need to work as a team, give support, and know how to give each other space. Also, both partners should feel comfortable in the relationship and have honest conversations without yelling. If a person does the silent treatment, it must be done for five minutes or less. Both partners must give time to breathe and take in the information in a calm manner. 

Moreover, if one of the partners needs a break from the conversation, he or she should announce it to them. Ultimately give them a time out but always end the conversation calmly. Wait for them to cool off and wait for their point of view. Together as a partnership listen to one another without covering your ears. However, stonewalling can be treated at an earlier stage in the relationship individually and as a couple, if you tried everything to save your relationship.

If the person is constantly too aggressive and violent, seek professional help and report it to authorities. Find a safe area for yourself and your children. Domestic violence should not be resisted. Stonewalling is wrecking a relationship when it is done intentionally and by manipulation. Here are more resources about stonewalling in relationships.

 

Coping When Your Spouse Shuts Down: 

https://www.verywellmind.com/coping-when-your-spouse-shuts-down-4097175

Stonewalling in Relationships: 

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/stonewalling-in-relationships

Stonewalling Signs and Relationship Tips: 

https://hellorelish.com/articles/stonewalling-signs-relationship-tips.html

* Fonts and artwork made in Photo Collage Editor