How to Cope & Enjoy the Holidays? (Stress-Free Family Holiday Month 2024)

Courtesy Pexels Image by: Askar Abayev

During the holidays you might feel anger, anxiety, frustration, and lots of stress when you are with certain family members that are difficult. Some family members might be meddlesome all the time with you, especially if you are the youngest or single. Too much curiosity from them can make you feel something is wrong with you. Although their inquisitive behavior can be unintentional, it does make you feel that they are being intrusive. It also makes you feel they want to use you for gossiping, to get attention, and to have something to say about you and not them. 

Another inconvenient situation during family gatherings can also be not feeling welcomed, inappropriate comments, and family offering too much advice about your personal life. Living in a dysfunctional family can be manageable and coping with uncomfortable situations. Sometimes family members might feel you are being rude, jealous, or avoiding them especially if they like to gossip. It can be uncomfortable and make you have tension instead of enjoying the holidays. As well as feeling a lack of respect when they do these things towards you. 

Nonetheless, they can be pushy, forceful, and make you feel that you are lacking something or someone in your personal life. The worst part is sometimes these difficult family members can make you overeat, feel guilty, and want to decline family invitations. Inappropriate behaviors can make you want to avoid them, ignore them, or simply sit somewhere else during the dinner table. Additionally, you might want to limit your time with difficult family members before they make you angry. Other times you might feel intimidated and hurtful towards their inappropriate jokes or comments. 

Therefore, it is recommended to remain calm, quiet, and decline to answer their questions with short answers. Another tip is to ask them questions about them and observe their reactions. If they continue changing the subject and want to continue being intrusive; You can have a backup plan to help you find inner peace during the holidays. Limit your boundaries and protect your privacy. Practice mindfulness, breathing techniques, meditating with tea, and other ways to relax before seeing your family. 

Plan to spend time with your family and to stay for dinner. Avoid speaking about politics, beliefs, sexual topics, and other topics that can be uncomfortable for some family members. As well as avoiding difficult personal health issues in the conversation. Encourage your family members to watch a holiday movie, play game boards, music, and keep the entire family busy. Ask if any family members need help in the kitchen, setting up the dining table, or babysitting.

Permit family members to sit anywhere especially if they cannot have a good relationship with certain family members. Sometimes assigning a seating arrangement can make some family members feel more tension. If a family member does not speak to another family member, it can feel more stressful. Other times, some family members might feel left out, feel depressed, and feel bored. Nevertheless, it is not easy to avoid difficult family members. 

Growing up in a dysfunctional family can make you have less trust, less patience, and have a tough time expressing your feelings. As well as feeling low self-esteem, less confident, and develop more insecurities about yourself. I often felt like self-isolating myself and I often felt pessimistic towards others because of growing up in a dysfunctional family. Additionally, I got depressed more often and tried to fake a smile when difficult family members surrounded me. Nonetheless, strive to seek individual therapy and distance yourself from the family members that make you feel awful. 

Ending the year with optimism can be an everyday struggle but it is possible to enjoy all the holidays with finesse. Coping with uncomfortable situations with the family and staying neutral with them can help you remain calm. Another tip is to stay quiet and not participate in the family gossip or criticism. Practice loving-kindness meditation, self-compassion, self-control, self-forgiveness, and self-care before and after family gatherings. Here is a brief list for a stress-free family holiday month. 

1. Be kind to yourself by making a self-care bag, basket, box, or a backpack with items that help you relax. 
2. Dress comfortably and practice walking meditation with kindness. 
3. Review your family plans and follow a schedule to limit your visits, especially if your family members argue too much. 
4. Have a conversation with a trustworthy friend or a family member that understands you. 
5. Exercise to reduce your stress before going to your family gatherings. 
6. Drink an herbal tea or a hot tea that makes you feel relaxed for one hour before arriving at your family event.
7. Drink chocolate milk and do a crossword puzzle for one hour before or after you come back from your family gatherings. 
8. Play vintage games such as scatter jacks to help you relax before having your family dinner together. 
9. Leave early and excuse yourself if the situation gets tense and family members put each other down. 
10. Avoid alcohol or alcoholic desserts, especially if it changes your mood and there is a loss of self-control.
11. Have a budget when it comes to giving gifts, cards with money, and have the same spending amount for each gift for your family members. 
12. If you spend the night at your family's home or extended family, make sure you feel safe and comfortable staying for the night. 
13. Bring an extra pair of pajamas, a cellphone charger, a hygiene kit, and your self-care kit so you can be prepared to spend the night with your family. 
14. Use and wear relaxing essential oils with carrier oils or dilute them with lotion and practice inner peace. 
15. Practice kindness with all your family members and do not allow them to make you feel depressed, angry, or misunderstood.

Keep in mind that your younger siblings or your children can also feel the family stress and the tension. To enjoy the holidays, one must protect one's self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence. Do not blame yourself for the dysfunctional circumstances and how your family developed unhealthy boundaries. Additionally, do not feel guilty, defeated, or defensive with your difficult family members. Nevertheless, practicing gratitude and joy might help you concentrate on having a relaxing holiday with your family. 

Use positive affirmations and positive self-talk. Unpredictability, excessive curiosity, excessive criticism, gossiping, and a loss of respect for each other is often damaging in any relationship. It is best to consult with a professional behavioral therapist to find support and for the healing process of the entire family. Often the reasons for not getting along can be due to favoritism, a lack of empathy, poor communication, abuse, overworking, perfectionism, addictions, secrets, and other reasons. Here are websites with more tips about enjoying the holidays with your family. 

8 Strategies for Dealing with Difficult Relatives Over the Holidays:

8 Strategies for Dealing with Difficult Relatives Over the Holidays

Holiday Survival 101: 9 Ways to Cope with Difficult Family Members During the Holidays:

Holiday Survival 101: 9 Ways to Cope With Difficult Family Members During the Holidays

 

* Courtesy Pexels Image By: Askar Abayev